It Never Rains in Southern California....they tell me

Ah yes, the rain has come to clean us of our over indulgence of the sun. And, we welcome it. The funny thing about living in an area that has a moderately comfortable temperature all year round is that when we get a slight change, everyone is almost giddy with excitement. It is one of the reasons I have grown to love Southern California despite its appearance of hedonism. You really can see that the pleasures of life reside in the little things.

I had 3, count 'em 3, doctors visits within the last 2 weeks. Neuro, gyno and my regular doctor. All of them told me the same thing: I am young at 33, the weight will come off after a few months of not being on birth control, and I absolutely cannot take my normal round of meds if I become pregnant. They also all told me my stress level is too high and I need to find an outlet for it. Apparently my job moving out of state, the economy taking a poop and my job already being high stress has been taking a toll on me. I can't imagine how anyone could have come up with that one. The good news is that I bought a treadmill and my after work walks help me wind down.

So, as I sit in my living room with my trusty wubby (aka Jordan the dog) at my side and I listen to the rain. It is difficult for me to imagine moving away from this beautiful state I call home for another state where I cannot find anything other than the financial attractiveness in it.

I love Saturdays....when I feel good!

So, I feel pretty good today. I bought a treadmill and I have been using it. I actually really like it....way better than walking through my neighborhood. My neighborhood, as you may have previously read, is colorful. I live close to the beach so maybe it is that when I see all the telephone wires it doesn't compare to walking along the beach and thus I don't like walking in my neighborhood. It's difficult to explain but I can get lost when walking at the beach....my thoughts just go and it is lovely. Walking in my neighborhood.....it's noisy, there are a lot of telephone wires and the yards are not always very pretty. No likey.

Anywho, I bought this treadmill that connects to my ipod and has a fan. What more do you need? A little Cameo "It's like Candy!", some cool air and a 4% incline....life is good! I have not shed any pounds but I do feel good. It alleviates a little stress which is awesome. I also went to my neurologist and talked about what meds I can take if I get pregnant. The answer is: none. Apparently there is no data...and I mean no data...on migraine medication and pregnancy. Apprently they have not tested enough little animals to draw a conclusion (animal testing seriously tugs at my heart). So, basically the approach is take it if it is so bad that you cannot stand it but don't take it if you don't have to because they don't know really what will happen. I also get to have my thyroid checked because of all of my attempts to lose weight and nothin happenin.

Migraine did come this week but not bad....relatively speaking. I am wondering if I feel a little better because I am off the birth control pill? Who knows....but it is nice to feel like I am not putting anything else in my body except a daily vitamin.

Quiet Sunday of Contemplation

Happy Sunday! Well....I am sure many of you know that Oprah has come out of the closet with her weight and is dealing with it openly (again). I am feeling inspired and am posting the photo that has kicked started me on the same quest....along with my migraines. That;s me in the far right holding my gorgeos pregnant friend's belly. But, what I noticed is that I look pregnant. I am not sure if this is my sweater being cruel or that is my stomach. I don't think it is my stomach, but anywho I saw this photo and thought "ooooooh no! I don't think so." My thighs even look terrible to me. Yes, I know that my image of myself is likely worse than everyone who is looking at this, but nonetheless it made me move. I realize that I cannot lose weight unless I am moving. I have tried this before, but if I do not lose weight I will see medical attention. So, I have committed to eating less (I already eat pretty good) and walking no less than 30 minutes per day.

As for migraines.....*sigh* ..........well, I went up to the Bay Area for this lovely babyshower and I had a migraine the whole time. I had enough meds so I was ok, but I was kinda flat. I have an appointment with my neurologist because I just feel like there is something else I could be doing.

Wish me luck!!! I hope everyone is happy and healthy ;)

Watching Seinfeld and enjoying a quiet Saturday

Awwww me....I should be studying for an upcoming exam but I am watching Seinfeld re-runs and being lazy on the sofa. I am enjoying a head-ache free day even though my shoulder is buggin me. Maybe my laziness is due to my current contemplation about whether my health issues should prevent me from being a parent. My shoulder locks up whenever I am carrying anything for too long. Like last night....we went shopping, I bought some jeans and after about 30 minutes of carrying the bad my shoulder was killin me.

The Fight

Ya know...I feel better, I blog about it and then I feel like crap. It's really quite the dysfunctional relationship with Murphy's Law. In fact, I think it is a toxic relationship I should sever. Isn't this what Dr. Phil prescribes? Me feeling like crap = headache which = migraine. It's a form of torture but I am not sure who is inflicting this on me.

I am sitting here feeling much better after my chiro appt with Dr. Z (if you live in Orange County, I highly recommend him http://www.swesthealth.us/ ). My neck was locked up again and my shoulder was twittering with pain. It was awful. I have been looking forward to a muscle relaxer when I get home as soon as I get to work, and I hate the feeling of the muscle relaxer except that it provides relief. The foggy head side effect is completely undesirable. Anywho, Dr. Z released my neck and I feel somewhat human again....except for the fogginess.

So now I sit and write thinking about that I should be working on my short story. I went to the library and picked up Alice Munro and Chekov for research. My short story seems to have too many characters at the moment which means I should save it for a novel. But, alas I am now rambling. What I am trying to say is that I am procrastinating. Maybe I will drink some half caf coffee and see if this helps perk me up.

Just do it

I am sitting on my laptop...where I have been for most of the weekend...playing online Scrabble and procrastinating studying and writing. What you may say? What are you talking about? Well, I have been invited to write for 2 health websites. Nothing big. I am pretty much doing what I do here...blogging and practicing my writing. The problem is this: I am writing for 3 websites. How do I keep up with this, work 40 - 60 hours per week, participate in my relationship and practice my writing period? These are the questions.

My dream has always been, I just lost it along the way sometime ago, to be a therapist and a fictional writer. I got lost somewhere along the way of life and ended up taking a really big detour. But, this blog has got me thinking that I really need to get back to my passions. What I am finding is that when I am doing something I love, I feel healthy. Just imagining myself publishing a book and helping people in person in my own office puts joy in my heart. And, the best thing about this is that when I feel this way I have less headaches and less migraines. When my creativity is unleashed, I just feel better.

This last week I was back in for my botox. Because I am getting ready to have my 4x per year womanly cycle (that is woman code for period gentleman), the migraine creeps its ugly head out just as a groundhog does. This time was no different. The shoulder starts, the pressure between the eyes, and then the pinch! So, I go get my shots which friggin hurt and then I go back to work. By the end of the day I am looking forward to nothing else but my migraine meds. I get home. I gulp down my pill with a big glass of water and I wait (oh yeah, and I stole a magazine from the doctor's office because Troy Aikman was interviewed for his migraines...wups! I confess. I did it). After about 1 hour the meds kick in and my personality flat lines. I am totally absent of affect. By bedtime I debate about taking another pill; I end up taking it and sleep in the next morning. But, I am better.

The next day I am still slow but I can fake it. I fantasize about earning some extra money as a writer so I can put it away for my masters and again I feel joy. The more I think about it, the more I believe that a lot of these metaphysical authors are correct. It really is about finding passion and finding yours. I think you end up with less stress and if this is one of your triggers (like me!) then maybe the migraines will lessen in intensity.

I am certainly not saying this is the cure, but what I am saying is that when you find something you love, your body and your spirit thank you for it. Passion is nourishment.

Just Sayin Hi

I have too many distractions today to write anything meaningful. So, I am just sayin hi. I got my botox this week and will write about it when I can find some quiet.