I am sitting on my laptop...where I have been for most of the weekend...playing online Scrabble and procrastinating studying and writing. What you may say? What are you talking about? Well, I have been invited to write for 2 health websites. Nothing big. I am pretty much doing what I do here...blogging and practicing my writing. The problem is this: I am writing for 3 websites. How do I keep up with this, work 40 - 60 hours per week, participate in my relationship and practice my writing period? These are the questions.
My dream has always been, I just lost it along the way sometime ago, to be a therapist and a fictional writer. I got lost somewhere along the way of life and ended up taking a really big detour. But, this blog has got me thinking that I really need to get back to my passions. What I am finding is that when I am doing something I love, I feel healthy. Just imagining myself publishing a book and helping people in person in my own office puts joy in my heart. And, the best thing about this is that when I feel this way I have less headaches and less migraines. When my creativity is unleashed, I just feel better.
This last week I was back in for my botox. Because I am getting ready to have my 4x per year womanly cycle (that is woman code for period gentleman), the migraine creeps its ugly head out just as a groundhog does. This time was no different. The shoulder starts, the pressure between the eyes, and then the pinch! So, I go get my shots which friggin hurt and then I go back to work. By the end of the day I am looking forward to nothing else but my migraine meds. I get home. I gulp down my pill with a big glass of water and I wait (oh yeah, and I stole a magazine from the doctor's office because Troy Aikman was interviewed for his migraines...wups! I confess. I did it). After about 1 hour the meds kick in and my personality flat lines. I am totally absent of affect. By bedtime I debate about taking another pill; I end up taking it and sleep in the next morning. But, I am better.
The next day I am still slow but I can fake it. I fantasize about earning some extra money as a writer so I can put it away for my masters and again I feel joy. The more I think about it, the more I believe that a lot of these metaphysical authors are correct. It really is about finding passion and finding yours. I think you end up with less stress and if this is one of your triggers (like me!) then maybe the migraines will lessen in intensity.
I am certainly not saying this is the cure, but what I am saying is that when you find something you love, your body and your spirit thank you for it. Passion is nourishment.
Unending Brain Fog (aka Where I’ve Been)
4 days ago