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I am laughing through pain. That's right. I am laughing at my pain. Oh wait - this really does hurt.

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Sunday, April 5, 2009

Ambitious Ambitions

Oh me oh my. If there is one thing I lack in my life it is clear direction. Oh, I put on a good front of "I know what, when and how I want it" but the truth is I really don't. Once I had my chart read and was told that I have absolutely no earth in my chart. None. So, this makes it hard for me to feel grounded. Well, I have to say he hit it right on the head with that one. I almost never feel grounded and I always feel like I am just kind of floating. Whimiscal would best describe it.

As of lately, I am back to thinking/pondering/focusing on obtaining my Masters degree. Where will I get the money to fund this? How will we live without my salary? Would this mean we would have to downsize? Can I find another job in California so we do not have to move to Oklahoma and I can go to grad school? This is just a small sampling of what my mind tends to do when left to my own devices. All over the place.

I know that I am good at listening and helping people through counseling (I have a few unofficial clients at work). I loved working in the prison system researching ways to make it better. How do I combine these? I would really like to obtain my PhD in Clinical Psych, but how I could fund this I have no idea. I would also love to be researching inmate issues within the prison system. Specifically HIV infections. I have dabbled in this before and it was the happiest job I have had.

Well, I am putting it out there universe: I am really to be a mother, I want to have a fulfilling career and I want this not to be a burden on our financial health.

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