Ouch

It's my week to get a migraine and I have been fighting one off since Monday. It won today.

I was good. I have taken my rescue medicine at the first hint, my muscle relaxers at night and I have been resting. Last night it would not stop. Anything I took didn't work and as of now it has only mildly subsided....except when I move around.

I really hate this. Not a mild dislike, but I hate it. There is never an ok time for a migraine to hit and it has me so freaked out that the slightest headache and I fear one coming on. Of course, the fires in Southern California do not help the situation at all.

Dragon Days

It's Saturday and although my promises to myself of writing more often with this blog, my source of income remains both a priority and time consuming. Alas, the blog remains on the back burner.

The good news is that last week I was relatively headache free. They would start, I would slow down and the headache, for the most part, would subside. My period is coming next week and so I am anticipating the migraine, but I am hopeful that I will be spared this month.

Maybe part of my unusual relief this week is final acceptance that my j-o-b causes a lot of stress (and I say this as I am contemplating checking my work email and knowing I will have to go in on a Saturday soon). I am finally acknowledging that I am not always able to shake it off. I do enjoy what I am doing but there is a part of me that feels like I am not doing what I am supposed to be doing. This also causes me stress. Maybe my way out of migraines is through therapy? The irony is I think that may be my passion. The thought of taking out more school loans inhibits me from the pursuit. We shall see....

For now, my quest to find the cause behing my migraines remains.

Almost headache free Friday

I had a pretty crappy day yesterday at work. It was stressful and I left work feeling really annoyed. So, I came home and of course my honey was is as he always is: awesome. I forgot about it until I went to bed. I couldn't fall asleep, I couldn't stay asleep and then I woke up with a headache. Oh no! Not on a Friday!!! I stayed in bed a little longer determined not to take any medicine and even more determined to get rid of this headache.

So, I did it! I relaxed my way out of the headache and then left the house for the office intending to have a non-stressful day despite knowing what was ahead for me (meaning, I knew the day ahead of me was going to be very frustrating). I actually managed to maintain it throughout the day.

I feel really good right now and I have not felt this good in a couple of months. Yes, it is only one day but after so many crappy days today feels like gold. I am going to try some yoga tomorrow since I am feeling good. I have not done yoga for about 2 months...can we say happy?? :)

Anywho - I feel good. I feel really good. I don't have a tinge of a headache right now and I don't feel like I am fighting off the flu. YEAH!!!

Friday yeah!

Wow did this week suck! I started off as a friggin space cadet on medication that made me feel like poop, then I go off of the medication and get a cold, the cold gives me a fever which gives me a headache which turns into a migraines and oh yeah work sucked too.

This is the reason I love Mondays. It is the start of a new week and you can leave all the yicky stuff from the week prior behind. Even better than Mondays are Fridays. Fridays represent the ability to rest, reflect and just be. With all of the health issues I have been having lately, Fridays are my saviors. Fridays allow my body 2 days to recuperate.

So this weekend, like most weekends, I will rest and try not to exert too much energy so I don't get a headache. My poor boyfriend is left trying to make sure I am ok and me trying to muster up some energy to actually get out of the house and do something.

Here's to hoping next week is better.

Adios Topamax!!!

Hasta la bye bye to Topamax. That's right, the neurologist's nurse called me back and said I was to stop taking it tonight. But, apparently she failed to listen to me or look at my history because she wants me to take Pamelor now....which I took 2 years ago and it did not work. So, what now? I don't know. I await yet another phone call.

What is Pamelor you ask? Specifically it is an antidepressant that is also used to treat chronic illness. I took it for 3 months with no side effects except that it did not work.

What is quite frustrating is that I keep telling her that I am sensitive to medicine and she keeps trying to give me high doses for pharmaceuticals. It seriously bothers me when a doctor does not listen to you. Do I not know my body better than you? Ummmm, yes I do. And, please listen to me when I give you some very important information when it comes to my body and what you are asking me to put in it.

Anywho - it's been a frustrating day but the good news is my spaciness will be going away.

Medicine Sensitiva

I have been on Topamax now for 5 days and I have to say I do not like it at all. Actually....I kinda despise it. The side effects are not working for me one bit. I feel dazed, unable to concentrate/focus, I have no appetite so my blood sugar is low which makes me feel weak and I feel emotionally flat. Basically my wit is gone and I feel like crapola!

I called my neurologist and left a message describing the above. We shall see what she says. While I recognize that I am very medicine sensitive (when they placed me on tenormin, they put me on a dosage that was what you would put a small child on), I do not want to be on medicine that makes me feel like I am not myself at all.

Monday through Friday I am required to be attentive and respond to questions from my employees. Today I found that I was totally unable to focus and be present for my unit. They were all looking at me like "where are you?" And I was thinking, "In space."

Wish me luck. I took one half of a pill tonight. I am hoping the doctora simply says to stop.