Migraines are hormonal

Wow, so long since I have updated this and yet so much life that has happened. What I found out about my migraines was that there were a few things going on: my birth control pills were jacking my hormone levels to a dysfunctional level, the stress in my life was taking over my ability to cope with life and finally I was not living out my hearts desire. As soon as I took a step towards what I really wanted to do with my life, my migraines went away. Just like that. They went away. I get them only now when my life is out of sync which is mainly around my period but even then it is only ever so often. I am now able to rest for a few hours and be fine with a few Tylenol. No joke. Certainly this is not the cure for everyone, but this truly worked for me. I thought I was going to be  coping with these the rest of my life, so it is with great giddiness that I tell you I am doing really okay.

Stories of Love

Sooo, on the blog that I have been cheating on this blog with I have been writing (or better yet, starting to write) my story. I have found that it has been a difficult and yet easy thing to open up and be so vulnerable. I have had to think about how some of my words may affect my family, reconcile that this is my story from my perspective and take the leap to just write it. It has been actually very freeing. I am feeling closer to my mother than I ever have in getting this out. I kinda wish she was alive to read it, but I have a feeling she may not have understood it.

The interesting effect of my unloading is my headaches while still frequent have not been as severe. I have had minor migraines but nothing that early medication cannot catch in time. I wonder if allowing myself to be so vulnerable while inviting friends and family to read this has been healing me in some sense. Maybe I will get to that memoir after all?

On a separate note, I would like to send my love to the Jackson family. Michael was such an important part of music and culture. I do not know one person who has not had an event in their life framed by his art. I will miss him greatly but I am so thankful for what he has left us. As a good friend of mine said so eloquently: Tha Man Made Thriller!!!

Semi better

Sunday's are just a beautiful day....always. No matter what the weather is, I always find Sunday's are unbelievably attractive. 

My back is about half way better....I start physical therapy soon and I am hoping this will greatly improve the strength and kick away sciatica forever! We shall see......I really need to get back into my yoga. I didn't have all these physical ailments when I was doing yoga...migraines yes, but knee and back problems....no. 

Watching Seinfeld and enjoying a quiet Saturday

Awwww me....I should be studying for an upcoming exam but I am watching Seinfeld re-runs and being lazy on the sofa. I am enjoying a head-ache free day even though my shoulder is buggin me. Maybe my laziness is due to my current contemplation about whether my health issues should prevent me from being a parent. My shoulder locks up whenever I am carrying anything for too long. Like last night....we went shopping, I bought some jeans and after about 30 minutes of carrying the bad my shoulder was killin me.

The Fight

Ya know...I feel better, I blog about it and then I feel like crap. It's really quite the dysfunctional relationship with Murphy's Law. In fact, I think it is a toxic relationship I should sever. Isn't this what Dr. Phil prescribes? Me feeling like crap = headache which = migraine. It's a form of torture but I am not sure who is inflicting this on me.

I am sitting here feeling much better after my chiro appt with Dr. Z (if you live in Orange County, I highly recommend him http://www.swesthealth.us/ ). My neck was locked up again and my shoulder was twittering with pain. It was awful. I have been looking forward to a muscle relaxer when I get home as soon as I get to work, and I hate the feeling of the muscle relaxer except that it provides relief. The foggy head side effect is completely undesirable. Anywho, Dr. Z released my neck and I feel somewhat human again....except for the fogginess.

So now I sit and write thinking about that I should be working on my short story. I went to the library and picked up Alice Munro and Chekov for research. My short story seems to have too many characters at the moment which means I should save it for a novel. But, alas I am now rambling. What I am trying to say is that I am procrastinating. Maybe I will drink some half caf coffee and see if this helps perk me up.

Just do it

I am sitting on my laptop...where I have been for most of the weekend...playing online Scrabble and procrastinating studying and writing. What you may say? What are you talking about? Well, I have been invited to write for 2 health websites. Nothing big. I am pretty much doing what I do here...blogging and practicing my writing. The problem is this: I am writing for 3 websites. How do I keep up with this, work 40 - 60 hours per week, participate in my relationship and practice my writing period? These are the questions.

My dream has always been, I just lost it along the way sometime ago, to be a therapist and a fictional writer. I got lost somewhere along the way of life and ended up taking a really big detour. But, this blog has got me thinking that I really need to get back to my passions. What I am finding is that when I am doing something I love, I feel healthy. Just imagining myself publishing a book and helping people in person in my own office puts joy in my heart. And, the best thing about this is that when I feel this way I have less headaches and less migraines. When my creativity is unleashed, I just feel better.

This last week I was back in for my botox. Because I am getting ready to have my 4x per year womanly cycle (that is woman code for period gentleman), the migraine creeps its ugly head out just as a groundhog does. This time was no different. The shoulder starts, the pressure between the eyes, and then the pinch! So, I go get my shots which friggin hurt and then I go back to work. By the end of the day I am looking forward to nothing else but my migraine meds. I get home. I gulp down my pill with a big glass of water and I wait (oh yeah, and I stole a magazine from the doctor's office because Troy Aikman was interviewed for his migraines...wups! I confess. I did it). After about 1 hour the meds kick in and my personality flat lines. I am totally absent of affect. By bedtime I debate about taking another pill; I end up taking it and sleep in the next morning. But, I am better.

The next day I am still slow but I can fake it. I fantasize about earning some extra money as a writer so I can put it away for my masters and again I feel joy. The more I think about it, the more I believe that a lot of these metaphysical authors are correct. It really is about finding passion and finding yours. I think you end up with less stress and if this is one of your triggers (like me!) then maybe the migraines will lessen in intensity.

I am certainly not saying this is the cure, but what I am saying is that when you find something you love, your body and your spirit thank you for it. Passion is nourishment.

Too good...we have come so far

To say that I am giddy over our election results on Tuesday is to be unable to find the right word for the level of excitement and pride I feel about this. Policy opinions aside...this was huge. I really feel like my generation finally did something we can say "Yes, I contributed to this really great event!" Obama is elegant, humble, very intelligent and our President elect!!! I feel like if I opt for children and they want to be president, I can say Yes You Can because look at President Obama (oh p.s. if Chris and I had kids they would be mixed racially).

On a sad note Proposition 8 passed in California. I am reposting a comment I sent to my friend who voted for it. It sums up exactly how I feel about this issue and how we should listen to each other. To put this into context - she posted a blog defending her vote and she was clearly feeling attacked by some friends of hers (not by yours truly; I did not know how she voted until she posted her blog):

Well my friend, how about a friendly dialogue then? I think if you only talk about issues with people who agree with you then there is really no point in talking about them. You absolutely have a right to your opinion and I applaud you for exercising your right to vote. In fact I send you a round of applause for being brave and asserting your view on this. It sets a great example for your family when you exercise your civil duty....and plus, we as women stand on the shoulders of many other women who fought for our right to vote. It was not that long ago when women were still considered chattel (fancy word for property for those who may not be familiar with it....a dog is considered chattel today on the law books).

So, let's talk. I know you don't hate gay people, because if you did then you would hate my family and I don't believe you to be a hateful person. I don't believe you hate Mel or my dad since you ask me how they are doing. But, to place this in context for those reading this who may not know me: I grew up with 2 gay dads who were together for 20 years. They raised me and did a pretty fucking good job. They raised me in a family. I was one of the few people who did not have to spend time between two homes due to divorce. I would say proudly that I am a fairly accomplished adult and this is due to my 2 dads. So, now that this is out of the way let me propose some food for thought for you and I invite you to throw it right back at me. I'm not trying to change your mind, but I want you to see where my belief comes from.

Not too long ago there was a case called Loving v. Virginia. It went to the Supreme Court to decide where states could make it illegal for whites to marry non-whites. The Supreme Court said that the states could not interfere with with a civil right to marry; specifically it cited the 14th Amendment. Additionally it is interesting to note that the church was backing the laws that remained in the state Virgina stating this was a moral issue that a white man should not be able to marry a black woman; they wanted to continue the Racial Integrity Act of 1924 (The Mormon Church funded Prop 8 - 20 million dollars worth which mostly came from out of state). Which was exactly what this case was about. This couple got married in another state, returned to their home in Virginia and their home was raided by police because they were sleeping in the same bed which was a crime. They went to jail. Had they not fought this, their children would have been considered bastards and socially undesirable under the social mores of the time. Additionally, I would not have the option to marry Chris if this had stayed on the books.

I believe that the right to marry is a civil rights issue and not one of morality. No one is trying to force the Church's' hand in marriage or even try to change the view of ones moral compass, we are only trying to state this: gay people are not second class citizens and to deny them the right to marry so that they have all of the legal rights under marriage is to say they do not matter. It sends a message that they are 2nd class citizens because they have less rights than others. Specifically it sends a message that a family who finds moral issues with their gay son or daughter can not only kick their partner out of a hospital room (and they do this) but they can also take over all of the property rights bequeathed to this partner. It also states that gay people cannot have a family under the protections of the law: rights for visitation, child support, etc. I could go on but for the sake of brevity I will leave it there.

On a personal note: why is my family less important than those of a straight couple? Why was it right that Mel feared having me taken away from him because our family was not legitimate under the eyes of the law? And further, why is it fair that I am not Mel's daughter under the eyes of the law to this day? Yes, there is a domestic partner law but it does not cover these basic areas that I have only touched on.

In short my friend, I have no problem agreeing to disagree with you on this issue and I do not think less of you for your opinions. But, we should all be able to speak civilly about our differences. It is an opportunity to grow from them. Anyone who is scolding you for your choices is not looking at this from the big picture that we all can grow from this experience. We just elected our first Black President...if that is not growth, I don't know what is.

Surprised

I stand corrected. Oklahoma City is pretty kewl. So, I arrived the first day and I was less than impressed. We went from the airport to the hotel and the drive was ....well, it was typical of what you find driving from any airport: Blech! We checked into a GORGEOUS hotel and were off and running. We drove to this one town everyone had researched and thought it was going to be AMAZING. It wasn't. Actually it was kinda lame. The houses were pretty. They were new. But, the town was small (all of 2 blocks) and it was pretty under developed. Not many trees and a lot of construction. We got a call that the new OKC NBA team, the Thunder, was holding a practice and we were invited. I jumped at the opportunity. The Ford Center was not what it was hyped up to be. It was as nice but no better than any other that I had seen. Anywho, the practice was kew. People were really excited and it was contagious. The first remained so-so.

The second day we met with the Chamber of Commerce for a breakfast which was a great welcoming. My hopes were perculating. We then separated into groups and I went off to meet the Cimmaron Alliance. WOW! What a fantastic meeting with a great group of people. They were welcoming, open, honest, proud of their city and practical on how they were going to make it even better. The diversity in the city is thriving and what is even more impressive is that the minority communities work together and support each other. Imagine that?!

On the last day we attended a Diversity Business Association meeting where we met Al McAfferty who is a state representative and the mother of Jim Roth who is running for energy commissioner. Muy Kewl! We mingled with a lot of business owners (white, gay, straight, hispanic...you name it, they were present!) who get together to network 2x per month. There were people from small and big business; local and national business. It was actually pretty inspiring.

Without completing a play by play, the trip was a success and I will consider relocating to OKC. It all depends on the offer now from the company. Regardless, it is a win/win situation.

Oh, and the best part was that I had not one migraine.

OKC in the place to be

Well, I am off to Oklahoma on Monday morning to explore the city and all that it has to offer. While I am not terribly happy about being away from home from 4 days (what can I say....I love my boyfriend and I love being around him...it makes my days happy and I am happy to be sappy), I am excited that this will at least make a decision for me. To move or not to move that will be the answer. I have never been to middle American and so I really don't know what to expect. Civility? Flatlands? Stereotypes? I really don't know. I am a California transplant who has traveled more outside of the country than in and I have only lived away from the coast once (I did not like it).

I am asking my headaches/migraines to take a break. I really do not want to be exploring this city feeling like poop. Especially since I just got over the flu and Ihave been feeling like poop for the last week. The sad thing is that I feel a little headache coming on. My neck is locking up and it feels like I may need to take some preventative medicine. I'll wait until tonight though....

There will be an update to follow :)

Monday, Monday .....it so lovely when you get to sleep in!

So, I am off from work today and tomorrow because Chris' mom is coming to stay with us tonight...and well, it was a great excuse to take a couple of days off. I am feeling quite relaxed. We had the house cleaners come on Friday and now I am just completing some touch ups: flowers in the bedroom, chocolate on the pillow, some magazines by the bed and of course a yummy smelling candle. She is only staying for one night but I like people to feel comfortable and welcome in our home.

I am feeling a lot better than I was in my last post. Work is still work and thus it is a constant stream of change. I had a slight melt down on Tuesday when some additional changes were made right after we settled into our move and I settled into my fish bowl that people call a place to sit. The melt down turned into a good thing. I clearly needed to shed some salty rivers because when I came home I slept for about 10 hours. I have felt a lot lighter since. I could have done without the puffy eyes and streaks of mascara shooting down the sides of my nose, but hey we can't all be beauty queens 100% of the time....although I don't know if I wear enough kabuki face paint to be considered one any of the time. It was a good release and it has enabled me to see opportunity again versus opposition.

So, on Saturday I went for a 2 hour bike ride. Something I am not supposed to do because of my neck and shoulder, but man it felt it good. I decided I would see if I could ride to work and how long it would take. Apparently riding at high noon with no hat in the sunshine is not really good for people like me who are prone to heat strokes. But, it felt really good! It took me 2 hours when it could have taken 1 hour but I felt better because I am so unhappy with my muffin top. I may even ride to work one day this week....we shall see.

Well, back to my touch ups! Hope everyone is having a Bobby McFerrin Don't Worry Be Happy Day ;)

No siento bien!

Man, this week...well, it sucked. I got a migraine on Monday night that lasted through this morning (it is now Friday) and I also have the flu. Not kewl! Not kewl! In fact, life seems oddly cruel right now. Excuse me whilst I lapse into a pity party for one:
Our office moving to another suite because we laid off 170 people and I am being placed into a cubicle that is about 1/4 of the size that I was in before. What the heck? No more windows so I can stare at the traffic on the freeway. No more seats for my staff to come into my office and vent about the customer they are having to manage. And, no place to put my personnel files. I am about as happy as dog with a flea on his butt. They are moving us to an area where they do not have enough supervisor cubes. My question is this: why not put me in an office then? There are plenty of those! UGH! Or put someone with more seniority in an office and put me in a supervisor cube. The politics of corporate America are just infuriating sometimes. Not to mention when my boss asked me if I was ok with my seating assignment and I said no, he walked away. Big WHATEVA! It's times like these when I would like to pull out my wand and give him a little Legilimency (for you non-Harry Potter fans this means magical skill of extracting feelings and memories from another person's mind) to see why he would ask me that question in the first place. It's much better than using the Darth Vader techniques for punishing admirals.

Ok, but I am more spiritually advanced than this petty squabbling that I am expressing...right? Well, not always. While I try to have a positive attitude and an Oprah "look for the meaning in all experiences" sometimes I have to pull out my kleenex (even when I do not have the flu) and just say WAAAAAAHHHHHH! I had a looooooong migraine this week with a sprinkle of the flu. I do not feel good.

p.s. speaking of Sprinkle...have you ever had a Sprinkles cupcake??? OH MY!!! It's good. best cupcake I have ever had! I highly recommend all of them.

Absence makes the heart grow

Yikes! Sorry for the absence. I have been feeling rather unmotivated with very little to say. Know what I mean? Sometimes you just gotta give yourself some space to vedge and space out a little. But, I do thank you for the inquiries....gives me the warm and fuzzies!

I am happy to report that Indiana was migraine free. I was very careful to take a break from any activities and take my meds when any tension started in my head, neck or shoulders (naproxen and muscle relaxer at night). I had one mild headache, but one little bottled vanilla frapaccino took it away. It is really amazing how when you don't drink coffee everyday, it can help with your headaches! Amaz-ga-ning! I have taken my precautious medicating home with me and so far I am doing pretty good. I also took an additional 4 days off work when we got back so I could wind down. It was niiiiiicceee!

Indianapolis is much different than California....and in a good way. Downtown was beautiful. Lots of old building (old for the U.S.), brick houses, churches with copper steeples, water fountains downtown....it was very lovely. Some of the statues were not what I would call politically correct (one statue was of a guy in nifty booties who conquered the Indian's...code for kicked them off their land and then killed em!) which were somewhat disturbing at times. I was not sure why they were paying tribute to some of the people, but I don't pretend to know Indiana history. Anywho, there were lots of trees. I loved it! Tree lined highways reminded me of home in Northern California. The people were very friendly and Chris' family could not have been any more welcoming. I felt like part of the family right away! So, I would say the trip was a success and it was really wonderful to see Chris around his family. I was not convinced I could love his grandma anymore than I did before, but I stand corrected. The woman is all love and she lets you feel it with each embrace.

So, now I have been back to work for almost 2 weeks and the stress is the same as when I left for vacation. I am still looking for stress relievers. A friend of mine wants me to go on a Candida Diet because I am tired all of the time. I started looking into to it and it seems I need to get my adrenal glands checked out first. They say if you are really tired after working out (which I am...I never feel energized anymore), then you should get them checked out. So, I am currently procrastinating calling for an appointment.

I do hope everyone has been well....and free of pain!

Off to the Races!

I am off to Indiana, but not to see the races. We are headed off to spend some time with Chris' family. I am actually excited because I love his grandmother and she is one of the main reasons we are going.

So, wish me luck on remaining headache free!

p.s. still off caffeine and drinking this fabulous green and cranberry tea. It's from Trader Joes and it is fabulous!! I highly recommend it.

Caffeine breakup

Well, I did it. I quit caffeine. I promised myself I would do it with my next migraine since I would be doped up and thus unable to feel a coffee headache. I have been wanting to do this for a few reasons: 1) my neuro wanted me to; 2) I have been really tired lately and I hate relying on something to get me going and 3) I dislike being dependant on anything.

So, now I drink green tea and herbal tea. Yes, green tea has a little caffeine but not like my beloved java. And I do love coffee. I love the process of making it, the taste of it, the energy behind my eyes from it and I love the smell of it. But, it is for all these reasons why I must let it go. Lucky for me I found a new fruffy green tea that is so yummy I actually look forward to it. It gives me no jolt and no effects of coffee whatsoever, but it tastes good and basically I am drinking flavored water. This is a good thing because I need to drink more water.

I am basically no fun anymore and this is in part because of migraines. No alcohol. No caffeine. I can't stay out late. I have to get 7-8 hours of sleep. No fun. If I do not monitor these things, I am susceptible to a migraine. For example, I had a 17 hour day on Friday. I was up at 4:30am and did not get home until 9:30pm. I was exhausted by 2pm but I had to keep going because I had flown 2 hours for an all day meeting. The next day I had a headache and my neck was very sore. These are signs of a migraine to come. So, I veged all day and took my meds at night like a good patient. My boyfriend/partner thankfully had to work all day; otherwise he would have had to spend the day solo. I was no fun.

Coffee at least gave me the excuse of meeting up at a local coffee house. I was the one last thing I was holding on to as a means for socializing. Ok, so maybe I am being a tad dramatic here because mostly I drank coffee only in the morning and by myself anyways. But, I could have met up with people for coffee! Alas, coffee and I have broken up. We are friends but not nearly as close as we used to be.

Define Freedom after 11pm

I really do enjoy the neighborhood we live in. We have some quirky neighbors and for the most part I really do enjoy those quirks. Now, let me tell you something about the area I live in: it is next door to a very wealthy area where quite a few celebrities and the very rich call home. I say this because it's important to know there is a lot of money next door. Then there is the town I live in. There was quite literally a lawsuit to redefine the city line so that some people could raise their home value due to the next door zip code. The town I live in has lot of people who would be considered ...umm, how do I put this politely? White trash comes to mind. But, these are the people I like the most. They give the town a lot of personality and I think a lot of balance. They make to town seem not so beige and that being a friendly neighbor does not require strings. The other half of the town are people who want to live in the town next door but do not have enough money to afford that zip code, so they settle for this town. They only want to associate with people who they believe can further their social climb. These people have a chip on their shoulder because they want the trashy people to clean up their front yards and homes so they can improve their home value and their own sense of monetary value. In short, they have been trying to push these people out of the town so they can create a neo-rich town. During the real estate boom (which has since crashed) they were trying to purchase the trashy people's homes so they could drive them out. Their mentality was "if you can't beat em, buy em."

Every 4th of July this town sounds like it is under attack. The fireworks are insanely loud, but they all stop at about 10am.....at least the really loud ones do. It is predictable and while annoying it gives the town some more flavor. I do not look forward to this "holiday" celebration but I do tolerate it.

So, last night it started at about 5pm and kept going non-stop until 10pm as always. One of neighbors 4 doors (who wants to be rich but is not) down decided that because he was drunk the party should go on all night long (although he was playing Jethro Toll's Aqua Lung versus Lionel Ritchie). These neighbors have redone their house and have quite a tude about anyone who walks past their home. They have an average size home for the neighborhood, but remain less than friendly to most. They are the epitome of people who are trying to be what they are not: privileged and snotty. Everything was fine until he and his party-goers decided to light a box of firecrackers right in front of our house. That's right a box. It was 5 minutes of lights and loud in front of our bedroom window. I lost it...and I mean I LOST IT. It was 11pm and I had enough. So, I tromped outside to give them a piece of my mind. When they told me that they put it in front of our house versus their house because box was "too smokey" my potty mouth unleashed on them. You would have thought this mild mannered but passionate woman had turned completely psychotic....and I did. How rude? How completely inconsiderate? What kind of people are you? All of this but with f-bombs was rattling though my head. What was coming out of my mouth was more like: what kind of people are you? Do you know what f-ing time it is?

Their response was basically drunken blather. I opted not to get into it when they questioned my American patriotism (I'm Native American so best not to go there with me). My parting comment was this: one more firework and I am calling the police. Well, they let off more fireworks. So, I tromp back over there and ask them calmly and politely to stop. Again with more drunken blather. It didn't go well but I controlled by potty mouth.

Now in retrospect I should have called the police instead of just going back over there because in getting elevated I could have given myself a migraine. I should have believed that all of the loud favors they were providing the rest of the neighbors would be returned to them. I have to believe that karma will bite them in their big-pale-wanna-be-rich-but-not-treating-everyone-else-like-they-are-poor butts. I should have thought about this, but after hours of constant explosions who can think clearly? And in all honestly, how much freedom can you claim on the 4th of July after 11pm?

Mean Migraine

Holy Smokes! It was a bad one. It started on Tuesday morning and hit me really hard at about 3am on Wednesday morning. I can never figure out why my migraines hit me in the very early mornings the hardest? You would think with me being relaxed while sleeping the Mean Migraine would be fueling to hit when I have to begin moving around. But nooooooooo, always in the early early mornings. I wake up, feel the pain and the pinch, think "mother *******!!", get up, can't turn on the light because it will hurt, blindly feel around for my meds, find them, take them, call my boss and follow it up with an email (my boss is understanding and I love him for this) and then back to bed. This is when Chris looks at me pained because all he can do is check on me. These migraines really hit more than just me....they domino to many people in my life having to watch me go through this. This image is what I imagine my migraine looks like only not smiling....see what is in his hand? That club bounces through the inside of my head, neck and shoulders.

Anywho, I tried the protein thing again. Ummm, no such luck at all. This was one of my worst ones. Thankfully it lasted only 1 bad day but I really felt like I was going to die. The sound of the neighbors windchimes were like a full scale orchestra in my noggin. They usually make me sleepy. On Wednesday they made me weepy. The cool breeze from the window was making me nauseous. My skin was crawling and my meds were taking way too long to kick in. To add insult to injury....my lower back hurts from lying down so much now. Can I pleeeeeze flip the migraine off???

Well, the good news is that I am feeling better now. This is better than normal because I am going to see George Michael tonight and being as willful as I can be I might have tried to tough through the pain just to see him. "Father Figure", "Outside", "Careless Whisper"....oh! I am soooooo there!!! So, thankfully I will not have to tough through anything because I am feeling much better. Well, not much better but comparatively speaking. The hangover of the meds lasts for a few days but I think George Michael will cure that ;)

Protein strike

A couple of months ago I was talking to a coworker of mine who had a friend who suffered from migraines. He mentioned that his friend abstains from protein right when his symptoms start. Interesting. I researched a tad and did not find anyone really talking about it. I have read a lot about dietary issues with migraines (giving up chocolate or wheat bread seems cruel) but nothing related to protein specifically. 

So, my job is challenging right now. It has got me more stressed than I care to admit. I have been having nightmares and wondering when the migraine shoe was going to drop. Well, it started on Sunday. Our dog locked us out of my dad's condo in 100 degree weather. Yes, you read that correctly. Our dog locked us out. We got back in about 2 hours later but it was quite the ordeal and it was hot. Really hot. So, we are driving back home and we see 2 accidents. This stresses me out. We get home and I take a nap because I can feel the pinch in my shoulder and neck start. I opt not to take any meds, but I did remember the no protein conversation. For dinner I did not have any protein. 

The next day the headache was starting and it was starting bad. I decided to let myself sleep since my body was calling for it and again opted out of protein all day. I did go to work but only worked a half day. That night I felt the pinch again and took my meds. Today I woke up with the medicine head hangover so I slept in again, but I only needed to take ibuprofen. I again avoided protein all day and for dinner. 

As I write now, I know I need to take a muscle relaxer but it's not as bad as it usually is. I hope I am not speaking too soon, but I thought I would share nonetheless. 

My nephew

He is beautiful. I could not stop staring at him. He has this unusually perfectly formed face, fingers and toes. He was the perfect distraction from a horrible Friday. 

I was called right after I posted my last comment. My job called me and let me know an announcement was coming forth the following day. They had made some difficult decisions and all of the employees were being informed of it on Friday. I opted to come into the office to support my employees and my coworkers. Changes in the workplace are never easy no matter what they are. It always means adjustments. Nonetheless it has happened and I did not really sleep or eat for a few days. 

My partner being the wonderful man that he is assisted me in meeting my nephew and making sure that I celebrated my birthday....and I did. We spent about 2 hours with my nephew and then went to my dad's for some relaxation. A day at the spa and some walks in the heat (Palm Springs is hot!!!) helped me calm down. It was a very nice weekend. 

The rest of my vacation was spent pondering over my job. I am happy to report that no migraines joined my stress party. They stayed away as requested and I made sure that I did not create anything that would have opened the door. Scrabble is a wonderful distraction when you cannot get something off your mind ;)  

Vacay Baby!

**SIGH** It is my birthday this week...well, I guess technically it is next week since it falls on a Sunday...anyways, I will be 33. I decided my gift to myself will be 7 days off of work. I really need it. I have been uber tired for more months than I can count, I have been working on average of 10 hour days (and I am salaried so no overtime...poop!), my job is moving and so the mood in the office tends to swing, I am trying to keep my employees happy so we can meet our goals for the end of the year and did I mention I am tired? Anywho, I opted to take some time off and treat myself to no obligations for 7 whole days. This means....no work emails and nothing to do with work; it also means I can be vegetable ;)

But, I will not be a vegetable. I am going to go to my yoga classes, walk the dog and spend a few days in Palm Springs. I just get the option to sleep in for each of these days! Maybe my weight issues will take a vacation as well because it has seriously been frustrating me. Wait...I am trying to be positive about this. Let me try that again: I will have a break from thinking about my weight in a negative light during this vacation. Better? Well, it's the best positive outlook I can muster for the moment. Whenever I think of my additional poundage this song comes into my head (sung by Kim Wilde): Set me free why don't you babe, get out my life why don't you babe., oooh hooo, you don't really love me, you just keep me hanging on! Gotta love the 80's!! Well, I sing it to my fat cells....maybe they don't like my singing? I am planning on my headaches and migraines to gift me by not being present for this whole week. I will not sing to them in hopes they do not come around (my singing is pretty bad....but I love to do it....by myself when no one is around).

So, other than sleeping in and keep up with my calorie burning/health routine, I will be meeting my 3 week old nephew this weekend. He is my brother's child and my only nephew...this means he will be spoiled! My brother and I only recently met (that is a whole other post!!!) and now we have a new edition to the family to celebrate. His name is Gabriel and he is quite adorable. And, yes I am completely biased.

I will try to post whilst I relax...but who knows...I may be too lazy to type ;)

The dog made me do it

I have had what has been one of the most laziest days I have enjoyed in a long time. I woke up at about 7:30am (only because I could not fall back asleep), made my mocha (low-fat), had some breakfast and went back to bed. That's right, I went back to bed. I crawled back under the covers because I had that groggy feeling like I could sleep anywhere. So, because I was at home I figured....why not?

I could not fall back asleep but I did watch "Sex: The Revolution" episode 2 which was fantastic. And, then I watched "The Mannequin" which if you do not remember, is pure 80's pre Sex in The City Kim Cattrell enjoyment. And then, I watched "Nina Takes A Lover" ....well, at least I tried to. Chris decided that I was looking a wee bit relaxed and so opted to get the pooch ready for the daily walkie-poo (we have a Jack Russell Terrier and there is no option but to walk him every day). Well, Jordan (the D-O-G) decides he is going to protest. Whereas seeing his leash and collar usually promotes him into doggie excitement, sometimes when I am sick with a migraine he will refuse to walk and instead insist on laying down with me until I am better. I know...AWWWWWW!!! How cute?? It is very endearing. Today he did the same thing, only I am feeling lazy not sick. 

If you recall, I have been struggling with losing some weight I gained while Chris was getting healthy. I am about 30 lbs overweight and try not to complain about it because I am doing something about it (whether it is working is another post). Think positive! Right? Well, I guess the dog has been listening because he would not budge off my side. Chris would come and get him away from the couch and he would wiggle away and run right back. I started thinking maybe the D-O-G is trying to tell me something: Stop complaining and walk me!!! Ok, ok I get it. I ask Chris if he can wait 10 minutes while I get dressed and brush the polyester off my afternoon unbrushed teeth. Being the supportive (and yummy) man that he is, he agreed. 

So, I got my walking clothes on and went for the walk. It was a lovely walk too. We went on a hike and the flowers were bursting from the trail. Even though the tide was coming in and so....well, the smell does not match the beauty of the flowers it was still lovely. The dog made me do it and I cannot be mad at him for that.