Vacay Baby!

**SIGH** It is my birthday this week...well, I guess technically it is next week since it falls on a Sunday...anyways, I will be 33. I decided my gift to myself will be 7 days off of work. I really need it. I have been uber tired for more months than I can count, I have been working on average of 10 hour days (and I am salaried so no overtime...poop!), my job is moving and so the mood in the office tends to swing, I am trying to keep my employees happy so we can meet our goals for the end of the year and did I mention I am tired? Anywho, I opted to take some time off and treat myself to no obligations for 7 whole days. This means....no work emails and nothing to do with work; it also means I can be vegetable ;)

But, I will not be a vegetable. I am going to go to my yoga classes, walk the dog and spend a few days in Palm Springs. I just get the option to sleep in for each of these days! Maybe my weight issues will take a vacation as well because it has seriously been frustrating me. Wait...I am trying to be positive about this. Let me try that again: I will have a break from thinking about my weight in a negative light during this vacation. Better? Well, it's the best positive outlook I can muster for the moment. Whenever I think of my additional poundage this song comes into my head (sung by Kim Wilde): Set me free why don't you babe, get out my life why don't you babe., oooh hooo, you don't really love me, you just keep me hanging on! Gotta love the 80's!! Well, I sing it to my fat cells....maybe they don't like my singing? I am planning on my headaches and migraines to gift me by not being present for this whole week. I will not sing to them in hopes they do not come around (my singing is pretty bad....but I love to do it....by myself when no one is around).

So, other than sleeping in and keep up with my calorie burning/health routine, I will be meeting my 3 week old nephew this weekend. He is my brother's child and my only nephew...this means he will be spoiled! My brother and I only recently met (that is a whole other post!!!) and now we have a new edition to the family to celebrate. His name is Gabriel and he is quite adorable. And, yes I am completely biased.

I will try to post whilst I relax...but who knows...I may be too lazy to type ;)

The dog made me do it

I have had what has been one of the most laziest days I have enjoyed in a long time. I woke up at about 7:30am (only because I could not fall back asleep), made my mocha (low-fat), had some breakfast and went back to bed. That's right, I went back to bed. I crawled back under the covers because I had that groggy feeling like I could sleep anywhere. So, because I was at home I figured....why not?

I could not fall back asleep but I did watch "Sex: The Revolution" episode 2 which was fantastic. And, then I watched "The Mannequin" which if you do not remember, is pure 80's pre Sex in The City Kim Cattrell enjoyment. And then, I watched "Nina Takes A Lover" ....well, at least I tried to. Chris decided that I was looking a wee bit relaxed and so opted to get the pooch ready for the daily walkie-poo (we have a Jack Russell Terrier and there is no option but to walk him every day). Well, Jordan (the D-O-G) decides he is going to protest. Whereas seeing his leash and collar usually promotes him into doggie excitement, sometimes when I am sick with a migraine he will refuse to walk and instead insist on laying down with me until I am better. I know...AWWWWWW!!! How cute?? It is very endearing. Today he did the same thing, only I am feeling lazy not sick. 

If you recall, I have been struggling with losing some weight I gained while Chris was getting healthy. I am about 30 lbs overweight and try not to complain about it because I am doing something about it (whether it is working is another post). Think positive! Right? Well, I guess the dog has been listening because he would not budge off my side. Chris would come and get him away from the couch and he would wiggle away and run right back. I started thinking maybe the D-O-G is trying to tell me something: Stop complaining and walk me!!! Ok, ok I get it. I ask Chris if he can wait 10 minutes while I get dressed and brush the polyester off my afternoon unbrushed teeth. Being the supportive (and yummy) man that he is, he agreed. 

So, I got my walking clothes on and went for the walk. It was a lovely walk too. We went on a hike and the flowers were bursting from the trail. Even though the tide was coming in and so....well, the smell does not match the beauty of the flowers it was still lovely. The dog made me do it and I cannot be mad at him for that. 

Freedom Friday...sort of

Happy Friday!!! 

Well, I am still spinning. I have to concur with Deborah that the most fun part of dizziness is closing your eyes....wow. It's a ride and I am not even moving. Or when I am just standing and the person I am looking at is swaying...but, they're not. Excuse my victim coming out of me when I have to say "Why ME?????!!!!!!" One of these days I am going to get to the bottom of this and when I do....well, my migraine monster had better watch out!

Other than the constant movement in my head, I have been attending yoga 3x per week and walking the dog about 6 days per week. My boyfriend/partner asked me last night if I am feeling any different (I have been doing the yoga for about 2 months straight now) and my response was an unfortunate "no." I have lost no weight. And, I mean no weight. Not a frickin pound. I am still 157 lbs which is about 30 lbs too much for me and my body. I do not have more energy but I do feel more relaxed. The energy issue may be because I have been fighting virus' consistently (I work in an office = petri dish). The weight issue is not because of my eating habits. Trust me. I have no answer for this one. I cannot cut anymore calories and I do not eat sugar. Who can figure it out? I keep reminding myself that I have to focus on being healthy and I cannot do this without being active. So, I continue to yoga and I continue to walk. 

All of this and I am still happy. The bonus today is that it is Friday. I love Friday's. People are happy and I know that tomorrow is without responsibilities. Even better is knowing that I can sleep past 6am! Oh I love it!! I love the warm feeling of the sheets on me and my pillow. It is so soothing and such a wonderful way to start your day....without an alarm clock.  I even forget that I suffer from headaches/migraines. And....this weekend is a long weekend!!! Whoohoooo!!!!!

Enjoy your weekend...I will be enjoying my mornings sans alarm clock :)

It's official....I am a dizzy blonde

Well, I am blonde and I am dizzy. Very dizzy. But, it is not an "oh my God!" dizzy. This is a vertigo dizzy. It's been 2 weeks now and nothing has subsided. It is not worse but it is no better. I keep freaking out because all I read about lately is that migraines can be related to strokes. So, me and my obsessiveness keeps thinking that I am having a stroke everytime I get a spell....which is every other hour. Fun? Yes? No......

The room spins every other hour, if I was 5 years old again this might be amusing. But, I am almost 33 and so it is not at all. Kaiser sent me away with dramamine... the side effects suck and it did not work! So, as I am trying to type I have to keep stopping because I feel like I am going to fall over. My hope is that the Kaiser doctor was right and all I have is a virus.

Wish me luck!

How Do Migraines Affect Me?

This is a great description of what migraines are. It's only about 5 minutes long.

When I say Oklahoma, you say WHAT!??

My job is moving out of California.....it's being moved to Oklahoma. Yes, I said Oklahoma. Doesn't really inspire a "Ohhhh, that sounds like an adventure!" comment, does it? Well, it didn't for me either. Let's see when we think of Oklahoma what comes to mind? A broadway production named Oklahoma, race riots in 1941, a state sentator who recently made an anti-gay comment on the senate floor, a DA who was murdered for being gay last year, gun racks, belt buckle of the bible belt, the Sonics may move there....need I go on?

My hope is that the state has a bad rap. So, I am reaching out to anyone who has been to Oklahoma City or who lives there? What is it like? Do the stereotypes fit? How is the diversity (that is code for how do minorities and gay people get treated)? How is the culture (code for is there any)?

Right now I am feeling disappointed in the company I work for. They released the information to us the same day Oklahoma City newspapers ran the story. So much for letting us know when they know. Despite this, I am considering moving. My family is multi racial and my dad's are gay. Will this fit in? This is the deal breaker for me. If this would be too much of a challenge then I won't move. Did I mention that the company I work for has Diversity as one its Values? I wonder if they will escort me on my way home?

So, if you have any suggestions or comments about Oklahoma City...please let me know. I am trying to remain open but it ain't easy ya'll.

P.s. My vertigo remains aqui. I went to the hospital yesterday...they did nothing and I hope it remains nothing. No migraine today though...YEAH!!

Weather changes, stress and bad sleep equal MIGRAINE MADNESS!

Wow. I was doing really well. I was championing botox injections, going to my yoga classes and walking the dog every day for at least 30 minutes. I was determined to lose weight and really feel good. My life was becoming "normal" again.

"Ah-ha!" Said the migraine. "I have fooled and lulled you into comfort! I am back and bigger than ever. And I brought friends!!" The migraine snickered at me. I had almost, and I really emphasize almost, forgotten how much these 2-3 day ones can hurt. So it started one week ago...I felt it coming on with a vengeance. It was my most unwelcome family member who consistently reminds me of why I dislike them so. It lasted Tuesday through Thursday. But this time, my migraine had a new friend. Allow me to introduce you to Vertigo. Wow. This really one sucks.

I was sitting at my desk and all the sudden the room spun around 1-2x. I sat there with both palms sweating on the desk wondering where that came from. The hangover from that was dizziness for about an hour. It was like I had just gotten off of a boat. This was when I knew it was coming, but I thought....naw! It happened again the next day and I had to run to the bathroom. I decided to stop toughing it and just go home after that one. Not to mention I needed to brush my teeth! I went home and slept for 12 hours; woke up and the pinch in my neck and shoulder were still present which let me know...it ain't over baby!

By Friday it was finally gone. But, Saturday....well, it came back! Why I am so lucky I will never know. I got to enjoy yet another bout through Monday. The migraine and all of its friends: Muscle Pain, Vertigo, Nausea and Photophobia. It was like a great big Latin Party ravaging my poor body. It is now gone again but the effects remain. The intense pain/pinch in my shoulder...I wish I could just pop it and create some space!!! The dizziness is still here so each time I get up I feel like I may lose my feet. And, the after effects would not be complete without the loss of appetite.

I hope the rest of the month is without any sequels.....