How Do Migraines Affect Me?

This is a great description of what migraines are. It's only about 5 minutes long.

When I say Oklahoma, you say WHAT!??

My job is moving out of California.....it's being moved to Oklahoma. Yes, I said Oklahoma. Doesn't really inspire a "Ohhhh, that sounds like an adventure!" comment, does it? Well, it didn't for me either. Let's see when we think of Oklahoma what comes to mind? A broadway production named Oklahoma, race riots in 1941, a state sentator who recently made an anti-gay comment on the senate floor, a DA who was murdered for being gay last year, gun racks, belt buckle of the bible belt, the Sonics may move there....need I go on?

My hope is that the state has a bad rap. So, I am reaching out to anyone who has been to Oklahoma City or who lives there? What is it like? Do the stereotypes fit? How is the diversity (that is code for how do minorities and gay people get treated)? How is the culture (code for is there any)?

Right now I am feeling disappointed in the company I work for. They released the information to us the same day Oklahoma City newspapers ran the story. So much for letting us know when they know. Despite this, I am considering moving. My family is multi racial and my dad's are gay. Will this fit in? This is the deal breaker for me. If this would be too much of a challenge then I won't move. Did I mention that the company I work for has Diversity as one its Values? I wonder if they will escort me on my way home?

So, if you have any suggestions or comments about Oklahoma City...please let me know. I am trying to remain open but it ain't easy ya'll.

P.s. My vertigo remains aqui. I went to the hospital yesterday...they did nothing and I hope it remains nothing. No migraine today though...YEAH!!

Weather changes, stress and bad sleep equal MIGRAINE MADNESS!

Wow. I was doing really well. I was championing botox injections, going to my yoga classes and walking the dog every day for at least 30 minutes. I was determined to lose weight and really feel good. My life was becoming "normal" again.

"Ah-ha!" Said the migraine. "I have fooled and lulled you into comfort! I am back and bigger than ever. And I brought friends!!" The migraine snickered at me. I had almost, and I really emphasize almost, forgotten how much these 2-3 day ones can hurt. So it started one week ago...I felt it coming on with a vengeance. It was my most unwelcome family member who consistently reminds me of why I dislike them so. It lasted Tuesday through Thursday. But this time, my migraine had a new friend. Allow me to introduce you to Vertigo. Wow. This really one sucks.

I was sitting at my desk and all the sudden the room spun around 1-2x. I sat there with both palms sweating on the desk wondering where that came from. The hangover from that was dizziness for about an hour. It was like I had just gotten off of a boat. This was when I knew it was coming, but I thought....naw! It happened again the next day and I had to run to the bathroom. I decided to stop toughing it and just go home after that one. Not to mention I needed to brush my teeth! I went home and slept for 12 hours; woke up and the pinch in my neck and shoulder were still present which let me know...it ain't over baby!

By Friday it was finally gone. But, Saturday....well, it came back! Why I am so lucky I will never know. I got to enjoy yet another bout through Monday. The migraine and all of its friends: Muscle Pain, Vertigo, Nausea and Photophobia. It was like a great big Latin Party ravaging my poor body. It is now gone again but the effects remain. The intense pain/pinch in my shoulder...I wish I could just pop it and create some space!!! The dizziness is still here so each time I get up I feel like I may lose my feet. And, the after effects would not be complete without the loss of appetite.

I hope the rest of the month is without any sequels.....

Life in the slow down lane

It was my boyfriends birthday on Friday and so I decided to do something for him that would be fun and new...I took him horseback riding. It was fantastic. We drove out to Topanga Canyon and went on a 2 hour horseback ride. Our guide was an aspiring actor, hence he talked a lot and talked a lot about himself but he was pleasant nonetheless. Overall I would say it was a really nice day.

We arrived at about 10:30 am to an inconspicuous ranch with a long steep driveway you are not allowed to drive down. We start our trek down and notice there are no cameras or cell phones allowed. QUE??? Why? Obligingly we trek back up the hill a few feet and put our camera back in the car. We get down to the bottom of the hill and there is a small veranda with one guy who does not speak English and says nothing to us. We wait for 15 minutes for someone to show up and acknowledge that we are here on time. It was a pleasantly cool morning so it did not bother me too much. I was trying to just be present without a lot of expectation...but I was slightly annoyed.

After finding out the reason our cameras were abandoned was due to insurance reasons (which I understand) I am feeling better. We walk down to meet our horses. HOLY SMOKES! They are huge! I have ridden before but never on something so big. I keep thinking...did I gain this much weight that they are placing me on such a large creature? I was not sure how I was going to get my legs around this horse but I did it. His name was Donkey Pancakes....I am not making this one up. Chris' horse was named Danny. Okie dokie.

We start out on our ride and it was smooth....we just enjoyed the views which were spectacular. We rode on this ridge line that overlooked all of LA. All of the Spring wild flowers were in full bloom...I would have loved to take pictures but couldn't. Purple, pink, yellow, big and small flowers were taking over the landscape on both sides. I was just taking it all in while I was practicing my best calm assertiveness (as taught by Cesar Milan) with the horse. Our guide took a few minutes to stop talking about himself here and there and would comment how well we were doing with the horses and how surprised he was at the behavior of the horses. I am not quite sure the sincerity of these comments because we walked past a rattle snake who was rattling and the horses could not have been less concerned. They were beyond mellow.

So on we go....and then we start into what will be a fateful trot. I am not a big fan of the trot because it is slow/fast and too bouncy. I prefer the cantor which allows you to feel the rhythm of the horse more, but like I said our guide was chatty. So, the trot was without consistency and exceptionally bouncy on these monster size horses. Basically it was no fun.

We finish our ride 2 hours later and feeling relaxed and really hot (it is now 1pm and 90 degrees) we head home. But, not before I almost pass out from a heat stroke. Oh yes, I am heat sensitive with my blond hair, blue eyes and what should be olive skin but is now pale white from staying out of the sun for the last few years. Even though I had on a J-Lo sized floppy hat to protect me I still almost collapsed. A little cold water and calm minutes in the shade and I was good as new.

We get home and confirm it was a ton of fun and something we will have to do again at a different ranch. We have a wonderful dinner from Memphis restaurant and fall into a blissful sleep. But, remember I said the trot was fateful? Well, I woke up Saturday morning barely able to move. My back is jacked! The whole thoracic is spasming as I write....all of this because of a chatty guide, a horse that was much too big for me and a tortuous trot. I am now spending my Sunday in the slow lane.

Stress is not my friend....

Stress and I ....we don't get along. I try to cope with stress but it doesn't seem to beat the beast that starts to pinch that area where my neck and shoulder meet. I try to relax it away. I refuse to let it keep me out of yoga. I try to get enough sleep. It still takes over and forces me to the medicine cabinet; that medicine cabinet that I detest.

The medicine cabinet translates to side effects. It means that I am sleepy and unable to focus...kind of like right now. I am not quite sure why people take these pills for recreation (addiction I do understand) - I hate them. They make me feel like I am not myself. That I am flat emotionally. It's the same reason I don't enjoy alcohol...I don't like feeling as if there is something that affects me mentally or emotionally.

So, here I sit feeling dopey and not wanting to move because it hurts. Stress equals migraines. Migraines equal pain. I am happy that these are few and far between now.

Migraines gone?? Sadly no...

Wow...it's good, it's bad...it just keeps going. I thought I was coasting along after my last round of botox and then a Friday full of stress brings a migraine filled painful night. It left me feeling very defeated. I was feeling that there is never going to be a solution for these unbelievably painful experiences. I was feeling like I am never going to be able to get away from taking medicine to bandaid the experience of migraine.

Because I refuse to stay in that space, I tried to find something that could lift my spirits. I started to focus on the fact that I am not living with headaches everyday which means I am not under a constant threat of a migraine attack. This is a good thing and it is a drastic improvement. I still have that pinch in my shoulder that gives me a headache. And, this is frustrating.

So, up down up down up down. I am reminded that I need to get my stress under control, again. And, I need to continue with all of my movement towards health.

On a positive note...I spent the evening with my brother and his wife last night. They bought a beautiful home and have 3 new puppies (which are the off spring of their other 2 dogs). He is going to be a daddy in 3 months which means that I will be an adoring Aunt in 3 months. Holy smokes! Me? An Aunt? This will be interesting.... ;)

Spa days are the best days

First....a catch up: I am feeling better. I had my first migraine in sometime last weekend. It was startling how much it; I cannot believe that I lived through these for so long. The headaches that it launched itself from was unbelievably painful. The human body continues to amaze.

I did start the diet and I have not lost any weight to date. Very frustrating but maybe I need to stop thinking about how much weight I have gained and focus on me at my ideal weight. It probably would not hurt if I started walking too.

I received my second round of botox. Man that stuff hurts goin in!!!! It really works though (for the chronic headaches) and the fact that there is no grogginess or medicine head associated with it really has made it very appealling. My periods did stop for 2 months but then I spotted last week quite by surprise...umm, that is no fun.

On Friday I took a self day. Literally. I spent half of the day at a spa (Burke Williams in Orange, CA). I went with a girlfriend who just happened to be celebrating her birthday on this very same day. So, it was a very good excuse to take the day off of work and relax. And, I did relax but it is a stange environment at this particular spa. When I arrived they told me it was European Style. HUH? Oh this is code for naked naked - got it. I am very kewl with that because I detest walking around in a wet bathing suit. So far so good.

The shape of the women's side was kind of a triangle. It has a jacuzzi, steam room, mist room (cold mist) and sauna for women only. The lockers were right next to the sauna and the steam room. The jacuzzi was HUGE and was in the middle but also back up against a wall next to the misting room. Odd. I have to say there was not a lot of flow to the area. A feng shui master probably would say "This room does not have good chi movement." They would be right.

The women were ALL in their bathing suits which made the atmosphere sort of ....how shall I say.... conservative. So, I was a rebel and refused to put on my top. In the jacuzzi, which had way too much chlorine, the women looked at me with some scorn for which I presume was because I was not following their stuffy rules. Oh well. There was no one in the steam room so I could be as free as I wanted to be. The sauna was packed with chatty women covering up the same equipment they all bore. I could get into the whole self love/image but I will resist.

This was the other thing....these women could talk! Not just the guests but the people that worked there. Holy smokes. It was rather loud....with the sound of the jacuzzi in the back ground and the non-stop clacking it was quite difficult to relax. So, I ventured into the lounge room which was supposed to be unisex but I did not see any men in sight. The talkie talkie grew even louder and louder. I wanted to read my book and just be, but it was not to be. I found another waiting room where no one was inside....the opening and closing of the doors along with the employee's constant discussion about the latest TV shows did not make this a quiet room. Even the fabric on the EZ chair was loud (red, blue and yellow zig zags....yick!) So, I gave in, met back with my friend and we chatted the afternoon away. It was nice to have some girl time....but, if you are looking for some self time I would not recommend this place.

The massage was fantastic and needed. We had lunch there and then scooted out...and I was relaxed. Mission accomplished.