Off to the Races!

I am off to Indiana, but not to see the races. We are headed off to spend some time with Chris' family. I am actually excited because I love his grandmother and she is one of the main reasons we are going.

So, wish me luck on remaining headache free!

p.s. still off caffeine and drinking this fabulous green and cranberry tea. It's from Trader Joes and it is fabulous!! I highly recommend it.

Caffeine breakup

Well, I did it. I quit caffeine. I promised myself I would do it with my next migraine since I would be doped up and thus unable to feel a coffee headache. I have been wanting to do this for a few reasons: 1) my neuro wanted me to; 2) I have been really tired lately and I hate relying on something to get me going and 3) I dislike being dependant on anything.

So, now I drink green tea and herbal tea. Yes, green tea has a little caffeine but not like my beloved java. And I do love coffee. I love the process of making it, the taste of it, the energy behind my eyes from it and I love the smell of it. But, it is for all these reasons why I must let it go. Lucky for me I found a new fruffy green tea that is so yummy I actually look forward to it. It gives me no jolt and no effects of coffee whatsoever, but it tastes good and basically I am drinking flavored water. This is a good thing because I need to drink more water.

I am basically no fun anymore and this is in part because of migraines. No alcohol. No caffeine. I can't stay out late. I have to get 7-8 hours of sleep. No fun. If I do not monitor these things, I am susceptible to a migraine. For example, I had a 17 hour day on Friday. I was up at 4:30am and did not get home until 9:30pm. I was exhausted by 2pm but I had to keep going because I had flown 2 hours for an all day meeting. The next day I had a headache and my neck was very sore. These are signs of a migraine to come. So, I veged all day and took my meds at night like a good patient. My boyfriend/partner thankfully had to work all day; otherwise he would have had to spend the day solo. I was no fun.

Coffee at least gave me the excuse of meeting up at a local coffee house. I was the one last thing I was holding on to as a means for socializing. Ok, so maybe I am being a tad dramatic here because mostly I drank coffee only in the morning and by myself anyways. But, I could have met up with people for coffee! Alas, coffee and I have broken up. We are friends but not nearly as close as we used to be.

Define Freedom after 11pm

I really do enjoy the neighborhood we live in. We have some quirky neighbors and for the most part I really do enjoy those quirks. Now, let me tell you something about the area I live in: it is next door to a very wealthy area where quite a few celebrities and the very rich call home. I say this because it's important to know there is a lot of money next door. Then there is the town I live in. There was quite literally a lawsuit to redefine the city line so that some people could raise their home value due to the next door zip code. The town I live in has lot of people who would be considered ...umm, how do I put this politely? White trash comes to mind. But, these are the people I like the most. They give the town a lot of personality and I think a lot of balance. They make to town seem not so beige and that being a friendly neighbor does not require strings. The other half of the town are people who want to live in the town next door but do not have enough money to afford that zip code, so they settle for this town. They only want to associate with people who they believe can further their social climb. These people have a chip on their shoulder because they want the trashy people to clean up their front yards and homes so they can improve their home value and their own sense of monetary value. In short, they have been trying to push these people out of the town so they can create a neo-rich town. During the real estate boom (which has since crashed) they were trying to purchase the trashy people's homes so they could drive them out. Their mentality was "if you can't beat em, buy em."

Every 4th of July this town sounds like it is under attack. The fireworks are insanely loud, but they all stop at about 10am.....at least the really loud ones do. It is predictable and while annoying it gives the town some more flavor. I do not look forward to this "holiday" celebration but I do tolerate it.

So, last night it started at about 5pm and kept going non-stop until 10pm as always. One of neighbors 4 doors (who wants to be rich but is not) down decided that because he was drunk the party should go on all night long (although he was playing Jethro Toll's Aqua Lung versus Lionel Ritchie). These neighbors have redone their house and have quite a tude about anyone who walks past their home. They have an average size home for the neighborhood, but remain less than friendly to most. They are the epitome of people who are trying to be what they are not: privileged and snotty. Everything was fine until he and his party-goers decided to light a box of firecrackers right in front of our house. That's right a box. It was 5 minutes of lights and loud in front of our bedroom window. I lost it...and I mean I LOST IT. It was 11pm and I had enough. So, I tromped outside to give them a piece of my mind. When they told me that they put it in front of our house versus their house because box was "too smokey" my potty mouth unleashed on them. You would have thought this mild mannered but passionate woman had turned completely psychotic....and I did. How rude? How completely inconsiderate? What kind of people are you? All of this but with f-bombs was rattling though my head. What was coming out of my mouth was more like: what kind of people are you? Do you know what f-ing time it is?

Their response was basically drunken blather. I opted not to get into it when they questioned my American patriotism (I'm Native American so best not to go there with me). My parting comment was this: one more firework and I am calling the police. Well, they let off more fireworks. So, I tromp back over there and ask them calmly and politely to stop. Again with more drunken blather. It didn't go well but I controlled by potty mouth.

Now in retrospect I should have called the police instead of just going back over there because in getting elevated I could have given myself a migraine. I should have believed that all of the loud favors they were providing the rest of the neighbors would be returned to them. I have to believe that karma will bite them in their big-pale-wanna-be-rich-but-not-treating-everyone-else-like-they-are-poor butts. I should have thought about this, but after hours of constant explosions who can think clearly? And in all honestly, how much freedom can you claim on the 4th of July after 11pm?

Mean Migraine

Holy Smokes! It was a bad one. It started on Tuesday morning and hit me really hard at about 3am on Wednesday morning. I can never figure out why my migraines hit me in the very early mornings the hardest? You would think with me being relaxed while sleeping the Mean Migraine would be fueling to hit when I have to begin moving around. But nooooooooo, always in the early early mornings. I wake up, feel the pain and the pinch, think "mother *******!!", get up, can't turn on the light because it will hurt, blindly feel around for my meds, find them, take them, call my boss and follow it up with an email (my boss is understanding and I love him for this) and then back to bed. This is when Chris looks at me pained because all he can do is check on me. These migraines really hit more than just me....they domino to many people in my life having to watch me go through this. This image is what I imagine my migraine looks like only not smiling....see what is in his hand? That club bounces through the inside of my head, neck and shoulders.

Anywho, I tried the protein thing again. Ummm, no such luck at all. This was one of my worst ones. Thankfully it lasted only 1 bad day but I really felt like I was going to die. The sound of the neighbors windchimes were like a full scale orchestra in my noggin. They usually make me sleepy. On Wednesday they made me weepy. The cool breeze from the window was making me nauseous. My skin was crawling and my meds were taking way too long to kick in. To add insult to injury....my lower back hurts from lying down so much now. Can I pleeeeeze flip the migraine off???

Well, the good news is that I am feeling better now. This is better than normal because I am going to see George Michael tonight and being as willful as I can be I might have tried to tough through the pain just to see him. "Father Figure", "Outside", "Careless Whisper"....oh! I am soooooo there!!! So, thankfully I will not have to tough through anything because I am feeling much better. Well, not much better but comparatively speaking. The hangover of the meds lasts for a few days but I think George Michael will cure that ;)

I feel....BLAH

It is hot outside. We do not have air conditioning in our house. I had a rough week at work...again. The economy sucks. Chris is in a foul mood. I feel BLAH.

I think I am just emotionally exhausted. When I think about getting up off the couch to address my now consistent struggle with losing these 30 extra pounds that will not exit my body no matter how much yoga and walking I do...when I think about getting off the couch, I just keep thinking "but I don't wanna." All I want to do is sit here all day long and surf the mindless waves of the internet and yep you guessed it, not think about anything. Calgon take me away!!

When I do sit and think what comes to my mind is all of the stuff I should be doing with my life: I should have pursued my art, I should be working towards my masters in Clinical Psych, I should be reading a book, I should be finishing a book I already started, I should be writing my autobiography....should I continue this pity party for one? I can hear the tiny violins playing for my woes now. It's that little song called: Shoulda, coulda, woulda.

My life is blessed, so why do I get into these moods? Oh yeah, because I am human and humans have hormones and feelings. Stress causes the production of additional hormones which make humans feel tired. I am stressed, I am human and I am tired. I feel BLAH. And by the way....we are aloud to feel BLAH from time to time ;)

Protein strike

A couple of months ago I was talking to a coworker of mine who had a friend who suffered from migraines. He mentioned that his friend abstains from protein right when his symptoms start. Interesting. I researched a tad and did not find anyone really talking about it. I have read a lot about dietary issues with migraines (giving up chocolate or wheat bread seems cruel) but nothing related to protein specifically. 

So, my job is challenging right now. It has got me more stressed than I care to admit. I have been having nightmares and wondering when the migraine shoe was going to drop. Well, it started on Sunday. Our dog locked us out of my dad's condo in 100 degree weather. Yes, you read that correctly. Our dog locked us out. We got back in about 2 hours later but it was quite the ordeal and it was hot. Really hot. So, we are driving back home and we see 2 accidents. This stresses me out. We get home and I take a nap because I can feel the pinch in my shoulder and neck start. I opt not to take any meds, but I did remember the no protein conversation. For dinner I did not have any protein. 

The next day the headache was starting and it was starting bad. I decided to let myself sleep since my body was calling for it and again opted out of protein all day. I did go to work but only worked a half day. That night I felt the pinch again and took my meds. Today I woke up with the medicine head hangover so I slept in again, but I only needed to take ibuprofen. I again avoided protein all day and for dinner. 

As I write now, I know I need to take a muscle relaxer but it's not as bad as it usually is. I hope I am not speaking too soon, but I thought I would share nonetheless. 

My nephew

He is beautiful. I could not stop staring at him. He has this unusually perfectly formed face, fingers and toes. He was the perfect distraction from a horrible Friday. 

I was called right after I posted my last comment. My job called me and let me know an announcement was coming forth the following day. They had made some difficult decisions and all of the employees were being informed of it on Friday. I opted to come into the office to support my employees and my coworkers. Changes in the workplace are never easy no matter what they are. It always means adjustments. Nonetheless it has happened and I did not really sleep or eat for a few days. 

My partner being the wonderful man that he is assisted me in meeting my nephew and making sure that I celebrated my birthday....and I did. We spent about 2 hours with my nephew and then went to my dad's for some relaxation. A day at the spa and some walks in the heat (Palm Springs is hot!!!) helped me calm down. It was a very nice weekend. 

The rest of my vacation was spent pondering over my job. I am happy to report that no migraines joined my stress party. They stayed away as requested and I made sure that I did not create anything that would have opened the door. Scrabble is a wonderful distraction when you cannot get something off your mind ;)